Christian 1

For those of you around long enough to remember the story of Christian from my old blog. I am starting again and re-writing and releasing the chapters. Whilst they’ll still be edited again eventually, they’re the first draft of the story for now. Hope you all enjoy.

Christian 1

It all started that cold November night, back when I was younger. I was at youth group with a friend of mine. We went to it each week together for 2 years. He was my best friend, and I could never have asked for a better friend at the time. I remember shouting at him across the busy youth hall. “Nathan! I’m headed home if you want to come with?” The hall was in pandemonium. Boys playing on the pool tables, bouncing basketballs or playing football. Girls watching those boys, eating sweets and gossiping. It was a typical Friday evening. Nathan was the coolest guy in the room, nothing phased him. Not the basketballs flying over his head, not the girls whispering behind their hands and pointing at him, not the guys all shouting his name. He just smiled and winked at everyone, completely composed and charming anyone who caught his eye.
            He turned and gave me a nod of acknowledgement as he began to bounce a ball up from the ground. The bang echoed in the hall amongst the squeaks of shoes as rubber soles slid across the glossy wooden floor. Nathan spun and threw the ball, turning away as it glided through the air. He seemed to do it in seconds, but the ball seemed to move in slow motion as it made its way over the many heads below. There was a swoosh followed by several smacks as it bounced against the wood. He made the shot. “Come on then, can’t stand there gawking all day,” he laughed brushing past me. I turned and followed him, shaking my head in disbelief.
            Nathan had me gripped. I had always felt this way about him and I didn’t know why. I admired him, I always had. He was loyal, always finding time for a friend in need. He was cocky and confident, managing to get a number, or a tongue down his throat after talking to any girl. He was smart, funny, always up for a laugh. He had been my best friend since we were little, the two of us were inseparable. Perhaps it was his unpredictability, not knowing what he was going to do next. He was always full of surprises, like any cocky show-off. Then there was his physical appearance. He was good-looking. His hair always sat perfectly, this beautiful shade of dark brown with lighter shades here and there; shorter on the sides, slightly longer on the top and always sitting up and to the left. These beautiful blue eyes which always seemed bluer whenever he was showing off or when something mischievous crossed his mind. Broad shoulders, tight chest, and a cheeky grin that seemed to be the centrepiece of his irresistible charm.
            We reached the hill I lived on, a single dead-ended street with houses up either side. My house was on the peak of the hill and it always left us out of breath walking up to it. Especially on these cold winter evenings. Nathan was walking me home as he always did, before making his own way home to a street about fifteen minutes away. This week though my parents were away. It was their anniversary and they were away for a few days, due to be back on the Sunday morning. The automatic light sensed us as we entered the driveway, illuminating our path down to the porch.
            “You want to head on home?” I asked, “It is getting dark.”
            “I thought I was coming over here for a nightcap!” he joked.
            “You can if you want, nobody will know any alcohol is missing.”
            “Go on then,” he said gesturing towards the door as that cheeky grin crossed his face.
            I put my key in the door which clicked as I turned it anti-clockwise. I pushed the handle down and opened the door into my empty home. The hallway was dark and I began wandering towards the light switch as Nathan closed the door behind us. I expected him to jump on me in the dark, or try and scare me in some way. Had he been younger he’d have hauled me to the ground and playfully punched or nipped my sides. The light came on above us, a dull orange glow that was barely a resolution to the darkness. Nathan took off his coat and hung it over the handle on cloakroom door, he was familiar with my house having been to it many times before so knew he could make himself at home.
            “What shall we start off with then?”
            “Vodka?” Nathan asked.
            “Okay, yeah, we should have some vodka,” I said opening the drinks cabinet. I found the bottle and took two shot glasses out of the cupboard to the side. I set them on the dining room table, and poured out two shots; one being significantly fuller than the other.
            “That one’s yours!” he laughed.
            “What? No, it was your idea!”
            Nathan quickly lifted the smaller shot and downed it. He was silent for a second as he tried not to screw up his face or spit it out.
            “Your turn!” he answered cheekily.
            “Oh fuck you!”
            I lifted the shot and poured the contents into my mouth, trying to force the vile taste down my throat. I couldn’t. Not even my throat wanted the bitter liquid and I felt that two things could happen. I spit it out all over Nathan and my dining room or I run to the kitchen sink. I settled with the latter.
            “Never again!” I shouted at him between spits.
            “You not like it then?” he replied sarcastically. I could even picture his smug little face in my mind.
            “Fuck you! Seriously!”
            We both laughed. I took two glasses out of the cupboard and opened the fridge, searching for something to get the taste out of our mouths. I found two ice cold Colas in the door and took them out and carried them into the living room where Nathan was already sat, texting away to someone on his phone.
            “It’s half ten Nathan, you can’t see the neighbours’ houses for how dark it is. You sure you don’t want to get going? What is your mum going to say?”
            “I suppose I better actually.” He set down the can he was about to open and got up walking towards the hall. I followed him, staring at everything he did. How he put on his coat, how he checked his phone before putting it back into his pocket. He was fascinating.
            “What?” he questioned looking back at me.
            “What? Uh, nothing, nothing at all,” I snapped out of my gaze.
            “Didn’t your mum tell you it was rude to stare?” he grinned. I grinned back turning towards the door to let him out.
            Before I opened it we gave each other our usual hug before we parted ways. The hug lasted a little longer than usual and we lingered in each other’s arms. Sensing that this might have been a little uncomfortable I questioned him, “Come on, get home before it gets any colder.”
            I opened the door, feeling a rush of cold air invade the house. He leant in again for another hug, this time placing his right hand on the back of my head. He leant back and looked at me, tightening his grip on the back of my head as he did. Our breaths were now visible as they waged war between us in the cold night air.
            “You better get going,” I said panicked. I felt his left hand gentle pull the bottom of my shirt. I leant in, now forehead to forehead we stared into each other’s eyes. His left hand slowly made its way up and rested on my chest. Pushing me away yet holding me to stay. I looked down at it. He lifted it and tucked his finger under my chin before slowly raising my head to look at his. My eyes were moving in frenzy, focusing on his lips I tried to control myself and look away or at another part of his face.
            “Nate-,” I whispered.
            We leant in towards one another, our lips meeting as it felt they should. We started to kiss, slowly and tenderly before becoming more and more breathless and passionate. He still had grip on the back of my head, and I found my right hand gripping him just the same.
            We stopped and looked at each other forehead to forehead like we were before, still gripped in each other’s hands. Slowly we let go and distanced from one another.
            “I better go, it’s getting dark,” he said sounding upset, before turning and walking hurriedly up the driveway.
            I wanted to call after him but I stopped myself. I had no idea what had just happened. I closed the door and wandered to the living room and sat down before getting out my phone to text him.

11:07 {Hey, do you want to talk about it?)
            (What the fuck was that about?} 11:08
11:08 {I don’t know Nathan, maybe it was the shots. It doesn’t have to mean anything)
            (Mean anything? It was you who kissed me Christian.} 11:10
11:11 {Kissed you? Nathan you had me by the back of my head. That took two of us)
            (Oh go fuck yourself Christian. I had nothing to do with it. Leave me the fuck alone} 11:13

            I threw my phone to the side. I didn’t want to look at it, nor did I want to talk to him. He grabbed me. And what the hell even was that? Were we drunk? Do we like each other? No. It was the drink. We’re both straight. Nathan had been with girls. So had I. He even gave me the friends of some of the girls he managed to get with. No. It was definitely the drink.
            I sat there not knowing what to do, who to talk to about it. I mean what would most of our friends think if I turned around and told them Nathan and I had been tongue wrestling after a drink we had and now we’re no longer speaking. They would probably not talk to us either.
            Ten minutes passed. Twenty minutes passed. An hour passed. I still stayed sat there, staring into empty space. Not really thinking anything. It was coming up to half twelve and I was getting tired; I felt my eyes becoming heavy and bed was calling me. I got out of the chair wandering to the bathroom. I’d worry about the drinks on the table in the morning not to mention Nathan, for now I just wanted to brush my teeth and get into bed.
            I stepped out into the hallway and began walking to the bathroom. Just as I was about to turn the corner I heard a knock on the window. “Fuck,” I swore. I turned, my heart now racing. Who on earth would be knocking the window at this time of night. My parents weren’t due back until Sunday morning, it would be the most polite burglar I’ve ever had the privilege to meet. It could only be Nathan, somehow the burglar didn’t seem so bad.
            I walked to the door and opened it, the cold air invaded my house once again. We stared at each other not knowing what to say or do. He stepped towards me, lifting his hand weakly towards mine. Our fingers met, and held the others without gripping, slotting together like two hooks. It was somehow comforting. Nathan leant in to kiss me. What was he doing? Over an hour ago it was my fault, he was telling me to get lost and now he wants to kiss me.
            He hushed me, like a mother hushes a baby. A soft tender ‘shh’ easing my nerves and willing me to reciprocate. We kissed. Slow, single lip kisses. Tender, sweet. He stopped and we stood forehead to forehead. He had his right hand on the back of my head again, and his left on the side of my face.
            “Nathan, what’s going on?”
            He kissed me in reply.
            “Yeah, I know that but why?”
            He looked away from me, still holding my head.
            “Do you want this?” he answered.
            “Do you want this?”
            “Nathan,” I didn’t know what to say.
            “I want this,” he turned and looked me in the eyes again.
            “Nathan,” I didn’t have the words. I wanted to kiss him again, I wanted to hold him, and I couldn’t remember ever wanting someone so much before. Yet here I was and this is how I felt.
            “It’s okay Christian, if we both want this what does it matter? Just do what we feel.”
            I kissed him, slowly getting more passionate and with more and more frenzy. Nothing seemed to matter when we were kissing, because I couldn’t remember anything feeling so right. Nathan stopped and stepped back away from me. That mischievous grin on his face, and the blue in his eyes shining all the brighter. He got out with his phone and fiddled with it before putting it to his ear.
            “Hello… Hey, yeah, sorry it’s late… I know mum… Yeah… Well I was just going to let you know that I’m not coming home tonight, I’d have called you sooner but something came up,” he winked at me. “Yeah… Yeah… I’m sleeping over at Christian’s… Yeah… Okay, I’ll see you tomorrow. Yeah… I know, you too. Bye… Bye.”
            He put his phone into his pocket before pushing me into the hallway, closing the door behind him. We kissed again against the wall. He had his right hand cradling my head once again and his left pinned me against the wall. We stopped and giggled, like two girls who would be texting and pointing Nathan’s direction.
            “So eh, who said you were staying over and where are you sleeping?” I joked. He bit his tongue and exhaled air as he smiled. I grabbed his left hand from my chest and began walking the direction of my room. Neither of us had any clue about what we were doing. We just knew that it felt right, and neither of us wanted to be the one who said ‘no’.


Davie Magill


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