The Shattered Dreams of Broken Future Memories

The Shattered Dreams of Broken Future Memories

It wasn’t love that broke my heart. It was dreaming. I’m a dreamer. I was born in wonderland, fell out of the rabbit hole aged 11 days, 7 hours, 17 minutes and 37 seconds. Only to be collected by a stork, who soon passed me on to a new family. God’s own private courier, who wraps each of us up, and delivers us itself, stamped, packaged and addressed all in a single strand of DNA.

Maybe I’m as mad as a hatter, maybe I’m as crazy as the queen of hearts herself. But perhaps babies cry when they’re born because they’re heartbroken. We all are. Fuelled by past lives, filled with love, and hurt. Only to die one day of a broken heart, before being cast back to earth for one last try. We all deserve love. But heartache explains people who have issues with trust, heartache explains why with the first breath of life we cry, and why we hold our first love so dear; they fix us.

“I’m late, I’m late, for a very important date.”

Maybe we all are. Maybe we all should have been born just a little earlier, just to spend ever so slightly longer; with whoever we may love. I’m a dreamer, just like Alice, falling back down the rabbit hole. I’m a dreamer; and dreaming broke my heart.

Dreaming of what might be, what could be, what I might feel should have been. Plans for the future, plans for whatever lies ahead, you and me. Together in my dreamland. Wonderland.

But dreams aren’t based on reality. Dreams are so easily crushed. It wasn’t love that broke my heart. It was the shattered dreams of broken future memories. Ever since we were children we were taught we could achieve our dreams; and nothing fuels dreaming more than love.

I was brought up on a fairy tale. Taught by every Disney princess I’d find my prince. I dreamed. Maybe if I had dreamed just a little harder I’d still have him, whoever he may be. I’ve loved and lost, princes, paupers, kings. Taught that dreams are as fragile as bubbles, you gotta just put your hands out and hold it because if you hold too tight…*pop*…

I love love. Love always gave me hope. Love always told me my dreams can and will come true. But when I broke my heart I blamed love, when all I really was was heartbroken over broken dreams. So to each and every one of you. I might have loved, and who I’ve lost. My dreams may have changed now. But my love cannot be lost.

So I’ll sit here dreaming. Of the love that might have been. Right down deep in wonderland; playing wonderland croquet, with queen.

Davie Magill

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