Snowflakes

Snowflakes

A hurting in my chest that winds me; pushing any water drops up through my body until they’re pushed out through my eyes. Those tears trickle. They fall, and they’re caught. Caught by the bed upon which I lie, as I toss and turn through heart-wrenching nights. 

I wish that I was a single teardrop. Only to tickle down someone’s cheek when they are so sad that they can only smile at the feeling. I long to smile. It’s been a long time since I haven’t displayed this poker face. This knight in shining armour, still bearing his helmet, looking like any other. Unrecognisable until he is released from his shiney tomb. By true love’s first kiss. 

But life is not a fairy tale, and people come and go. Heartbreak happens, on the battlefield that lays waste to love. True love. 

That love hurts most. Whether you cause it, or have felt it. Heartbreak can only bring tears to those who have experienced all that it has brought, and all that can be lost. 

Those teardrops that fall can turn to ice; cooled by what feels like is left inside as they drip and fall. A stone cold heart, torn apart on that battlefield, making you believe you’ll never love again.

And like a snowflake falling upon you, love a subtle feeling; nesting on your cheek, through single blush, or a person’s kiss can just as quickly and as fast as snow, melt away. 

Even the biggest snowmen we build, over years, decades, moments. It can all melt away. Ice turns to water, and just like water, love just trickles through no matter how we hold on. 

So next time I cry, I promise to cry snowflakes. I promise to catch them, as they trickle down my face and I’ll think of you. Think of what we’ll have. A snowman so big that not even the sun could melt it. 

But as those tears just melt away, I’ll still have hope. Hope that one day I’ll find you and you’ll catch them. Hope that you and me can build that snowman. Hope that we’ll never let it go.

When that day comes, I’ll hold it’s hand and I promise I’ll not let it slip away. You in one hand, him in the other; like a minister in the marriage of the love between us, promising that nothing will ever tear us apart. 

And when I find you, and when I taste true love’s kiss in my own little fairy tale. That’s when I’ll take off my armour, take off this poker face; because I want to look into your eyes. Nothing in life can be so beautiful as that little twinkle when face to face with that one you love. That’s the snowflake. That twinkle. That’s what I’ll catch. That’s how I know you’ll always love me. Because true love stops snowflakes from melting away. 

Davie Magill

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Poppy Seeds

Poppy Seeds

Whispering winds through fields. Whispering how I’m meant to feel.
Bird’s call in the chime. I know it’s the time. I know it’s the time.
Time for never again. Time for stay, time for go. Time for saying it all.
Perhaps my mistake, is in the fields. Perhaps it is disguised.
Disguised by a veil. Of amber and gold. The sunflowers in the fields.
They turn, they follow the sun. But they are lost at night. With only the cold. The sunflowers grow old.
Like I do with time. Time makes it worse, it cuts out my chest.
My heart is in my hands. I don’t know what to do. What is there left to do?

I think I’m losing my mind.
My body and soul they lie in the fields. Amongst the poppy seeds.
While I’m inside looking on. Inside of my home, my living hell. My room a prison cell.
A room blocked off from all in the fields. I think I’m losing it all.
My body, my soul they lie in the fields, amongst those poppy seeds.
My body, my soul.
They lie in the fields. Amongst those poppy seeds.

I seem to have misplaced my love.
They’re trapped in rose bush thorns.
My body is covered in blood.
It lies there in those poppy fields.
With love stuck there in the thorns.
My heart still in my hands. Blood pouring from my chest.
What can I do. This pumping charm. It lies here in my hand.
No love can take it, while trapped in thorns.
To keep it safe. It needs kept safe.
Before I say goodbye.
I can’t say goodbye, when I’m kept safe. Please save me from these harms.

I’m stuck in here alive. Looking out to fields.
I see my body and soul. They rest, inside those poppy fields. They lie amongst the seeds.
A graveyard lying low. Were soldiers once were felled.
Buried below, the fields growing lead.
Beneath the bullets spread.
These poppy seeds they cut me down. Perhaps I chose to die.
I gave up hope, when I lost my love. Amongst those rosey thorns.
While I was trapped. I must look on. Before it is goodbye.

This heart in my hand. It whispers that I can.
It tells me, to squeeze it tight.
I hold it, with my might.
Don’t give up this fight. Give into this fight.
I begin to turn around. Away from the fields.
I don’t know why.
I think I’m losing it all. My love. My body. My soul.
I leave this prison cell. I slip between the bars.
Bars made to hold bodies inside. But I am the spirit of man.
I slip between the cracks. Into the broken land.
My heart in my hand. It’s still beating in my hand.

I come across a knife. It whispers to me. Like blades of grass.
I understand it’s time.
I tell my heart goodbye.
The tears on my face make pools.
But spirits are immaterial things.
I stab my beating heart. The beating slowly fades. It’s broken.
It broke long before. It stopped whenever I lost my love.
Now I have lost my life.
So I must say goodbye.
Goodbye to my body and soul. Goodbye to my love. Goodbye to my life.

Now I must say it all.
Hello to the world. This wonderful life.
And so I start again.
Following like those sunflowers.
This little tiny seed.
Where is my mind? Where’s all I need.
Not here. It’s gone. Trapped amongst those poppy seeds.
Perhaps I’ll never die. I’ve already said goodbye.
Let me find my love. My body, my soul, immaterial things.
I need my life to love. I need love to live.
I am a sunflower, following a sun.
Without it I am lost. When i’m lost I’ll be in poppy seeds.
And that’s when we’ll start again.
Until then I’ll be waiting, inside my prison cell.
Inside this living hell.

Davie Magill

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