Heart Beat in a Storm

Heart Beat in a Storm

Fractured mind. Spayed of kind.
Through thunderous memories, roaring through my time. I’m in decline, can’t mime to say these tears aren’t mine. It exacerbates, as in my mind we procreate, and it’s too late.
Heart mugged, body drugged. Day after shoulders shrugged. It didn’t happen to me, the date, the rape. You can’t deny fate. Overwhelmed by this sudden spate. Of thought. Denial sets in, excuses create.
Heart beat in a storm. Broken thoughts around my head. Sinking stomach filled with lead. Pain each day, tears all bled. You’ll be loved again, it’s said.
All lust is crushed, love pulped to dust. Limerence stands tall with signs of rust; a gleaming statue to mistrust. Can’t explain why I was touched. Surviving by a mental crutch.
Life disappears without a sight, I am a moth without a light. Trapped in darkness late at night, sleep won’t come. Can’t win this fight.
You’re so strong, those words are long. Gone is the strength that once belonged, the light that once with embers shone. I stand and watch as the world moves on. Blind to hope that lies beyond.
The smell of you I can’t escape. Still trapped with you without debate. And when I wake, I sit and shake. Nothing I can do but wait; and wait for fear to dissipate.
My heart is trapped within a crypt. My mind a fortress labyrinth. My soul trapped on sinking ship. To escape from you I’m not equipped.
I don’t believe in God, or pray. But on my knees I fell that day. And I’ve talked and spoken up above. Left here to stay, don’t understand that love. Yet you’re always with me, and I’m still in your bed. And you follow me around inside of my head. Tell me what’s real? Waste of time that I prayed? My body, my soul, my mind all decayed.
Holding onto all that’s left around. As you lay there naked on the ground. Exposed innocence, gripped by hate. Hope is shattered, no, too late.
Though you’ve lost the way to shine. You can still heal, through healing time. I’ll find the power to claim what’s mine. But I’ll start here within this rhyme.

Davie Magill

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Snowflakes

Snowflakes

A hurting in my chest that winds me; pushing any water drops up through my body until they’re pushed out through my eyes. Those tears trickle. They fall, and they’re caught. Caught by the bed upon which I lie, as I toss and turn through heart-wrenching nights. 

I wish that I was a single teardrop. Only to tickle down someone’s cheek when they are so sad that they can only smile at the feeling. I long to smile. It’s been a long time since I haven’t displayed this poker face. This knight in shining armour, still bearing his helmet, looking like any other. Unrecognisable until he is released from his shiney tomb. By true love’s first kiss. 

But life is not a fairy tale, and people come and go. Heartbreak happens, on the battlefield that lays waste to love. True love. 

That love hurts most. Whether you cause it, or have felt it. Heartbreak can only bring tears to those who have experienced all that it has brought, and all that can be lost. 

Those teardrops that fall can turn to ice; cooled by what feels like is left inside as they drip and fall. A stone cold heart, torn apart on that battlefield, making you believe you’ll never love again.

And like a snowflake falling upon you, love a subtle feeling; nesting on your cheek, through single blush, or a person’s kiss can just as quickly and as fast as snow, melt away. 

Even the biggest snowmen we build, over years, decades, moments. It can all melt away. Ice turns to water, and just like water, love just trickles through no matter how we hold on. 

So next time I cry, I promise to cry snowflakes. I promise to catch them, as they trickle down my face and I’ll think of you. Think of what we’ll have. A snowman so big that not even the sun could melt it. 

But as those tears just melt away, I’ll still have hope. Hope that one day I’ll find you and you’ll catch them. Hope that you and me can build that snowman. Hope that we’ll never let it go.

When that day comes, I’ll hold it’s hand and I promise I’ll not let it slip away. You in one hand, him in the other; like a minister in the marriage of the love between us, promising that nothing will ever tear us apart. 

And when I find you, and when I taste true love’s kiss in my own little fairy tale. That’s when I’ll take off my armour, take off this poker face; because I want to look into your eyes. Nothing in life can be so beautiful as that little twinkle when face to face with that one you love. That’s the snowflake. That twinkle. That’s what I’ll catch. That’s how I know you’ll always love me. Because true love stops snowflakes from melting away. 

Davie Magill

Fade

Fade

The pillow where you laid your head.
The smell of you still haunts my bed.
And as I fall asleep to dream.
I wonder how things could have been.

Intentions of us were not clear,
I did not want love to appear.
And now I feel there’s only you.
But loneliness will have to do.

It hurts that you’re not in my arms.
It hurts that I can’t keep you from harm.
I can learn to love again.
Someday you will forget my name.

I place my hand where I held you near.
And now I know what it is to fear.
Love always seems to have a cost.
Without you in my life I’m lost.

So long as you have happiness.
I’ll at least have semi-bliss.
You’ll always be inside my heart.
It’s been that way right from the start.

Tears I have are bound to stain.
Memories of the pain.
No matter how long, I feel the same.
I cannot win, this is love’s game.

This is not goodbye, nor is it hello.
I just know that I have got to go.
Hopefully my love will fade away,
But I fear you’re in my heart to stay.

Davie Magill