Heart Beat in a Storm
Fractured mind. Spayed of kind.
Through thunderous memories, roaring through my time. I’m in decline, can’t mime to say these tears aren’t mine. It exacerbates, as in my mind we procreate, and it’s too late.
Heart mugged, body drugged. Day after shoulders shrugged. It didn’t happen to me, the date, the rape. You can’t deny fate. Overwhelmed by this sudden spate. Of thought. Denial sets in, excuses create.
Heart beat in a storm. Broken thoughts around my head. Sinking stomach filled with lead. Pain each day, tears all bled. You’ll be loved again, it’s said.
All lust is crushed, love pulped to dust. Limerence stands tall with signs of rust; a gleaming statue to mistrust. Can’t explain why I was touched. Surviving by a mental crutch.
Life disappears without a sight, I am a moth without a light. Trapped in darkness late at night, sleep won’t come. Can’t win this fight.
You’re so strong, those words are long. Gone is the strength that once belonged, the light that once with embers shone. I stand and watch as the world moves on. Blind to hope that lies beyond.
The smell of you I can’t escape. Still trapped with you without debate. And when I wake, I sit and shake. Nothing I can do but wait; and wait for fear to dissipate.
My heart is trapped within a crypt. My mind a fortress labyrinth. My soul trapped on sinking ship. To escape from you I’m not equipped.
I don’t believe in God, or pray. But on my knees I fell that day. And I’ve talked and spoken up above. Left here to stay, don’t understand that love. Yet you’re always with me, and I’m still in your bed. And you follow me around inside of my head. Tell me what’s real? Waste of time that I prayed? My body, my soul, my mind all decayed.
Holding onto all that’s left around. As you lay there naked on the ground. Exposed innocence, gripped by hate. Hope is shattered, no, too late.
Though you’ve lost the way to shine. You can still heal, through healing time. I’ll find the power to claim what’s mine. But I’ll start here within this rhyme.
Meant to be
We sat there by the shore, I felt how I did before.
I lay my head on your shoulder, whispered, “I love you more.”
You stood in front of me, as I looked out to see.
A metaphor behind your shoulder, the tide could only be.
My hand it found your knee, and I gave it a squeeze;
Because sometimes words aren’t needed, something physical can be the key.
I watched you on the sand, I wish I didn’t feel this way but love is never planned.
I felt a beating in my chest. I put your hand on it to rest.
I heard my heart it beat your name to you, all that I could feel was stress.
We sat down in your car, we were so close I could touch you, I’ve never felt so far.
I’ll think of you before I sleep, no different to each evening, can’t concentrate on sheep.
I’ll wish I could be with you, without the heartache of today.
And I’ll wish I could be near you, without wanting you to stay.
I can’t imagine life without you, so I won’t tell you how I feel,
For now I’ll live with heartache, my heart can only dream.
You’ll cuddle up beside me, and everything will seem, just how life should always be.
You lying here with me. How can feelings inside us cost so much, when dreaming’s always free.
Why do I keep hanging on, it’s never meant to be.
I just want to sit right here and cry
I just want the tears to come, and not these butterflies
I ask myself why?
Why do I feel how I feel when I’m with you?
Why do I lose control and not say what I want to you?
How do I do this thing we call love with you?
I’ve lost control, because there’s only one loving two.
The mountains are tall, and I’m just too small.
To climb to the top of the weight on my chest.
I used to wear these scars like a crest,
But I’m not proud enough of this love to show it.
I want the moment to last a little longer,
When I’m in your arms I only feel stronger,
A hug lasts for seconds, but in ten seconds we’re older.
But i hide from my heart, grow only the bolder.
Butterflies they float around, before and then after.
Inside I feel a deafening laughter.
Why can’t I pull away from your gravity,
Dead butterflies inside are leaving this cavity.
A space filled with the tears from my eyes,
A space inside where my heart often cries.
Trying to wash away the pain of loving you.
Moving on is just what I want to do.
The pillow where you laid your head.
The smell of you still haunts my bed.
And as I fall asleep to dream.
I wonder how things could have been.
Intentions of us were not clear,
I did not want love to appear.
And now I feel there’s only you.
But loneliness will have to do.
It hurts that you’re not in my arms.
It hurts that I can’t keep you from harm.
I can learn to love again.
Someday you will forget my name.
I place my hand where I held you near.
And now I know what it is to fear.
Love always seems to have a cost.
Without you in my life I’m lost.
So long as you have happiness.
I’ll at least have semi-bliss.
You’ll always be inside my heart.
It’s been that way right from the start.
Tears I have are bound to stain.
Memories of the pain.
No matter how long, I feel the same.
I cannot win, this is love’s game.
This is not goodbye, nor is it hello.
I just know that I have got to go.
Hopefully my love will fade away,
But I fear you’re in my heart to stay.